May 7th

Usually I prefer to stand outside of the establishment and piss through their letterbox rather than attempt to change it from within.  That’s the excuse I’ve allowed myself to wheel out whenever an election has come around and I’ve been apathetic towards the candidates.  All too often it’s made easy for me; after all, for the most part they’re lying self-serving bastards. But there’s a bigger picture scenario taking place in Northern Ireland at the moment and more amazingly, the smell of change in the air.

Those of you unaware with the Democratic Unionist Party might be fooled into thinking that they’re somewhat right of the Conservatives and a little left from UKIP but there's a black, vindictive, cancerous lie in their name.  They are by no means democratic.  The DUP believe strongly in equality, liberty, tolerance and understanding when it comes to them but for everyone else they are more than happy to tear up your civil rights and march across them to get what they deem to be their God-given (creationist) rights.  Over the years their targets have changed.  First it was the Irish Catholics of Northern Ireland.  When the Belfast Agreement was signed it became Immigrants and now Gay, Lesbian and Transgender couples.

Aside from their efforts to push a “Conscience Clause” effectively making it perfectly legal for them to discriminate against whoever they want under the banner of “religious freedom”, they’ve said they would only enter into a coalition if they had a law passed guaranteeing their right to march (who gives a fuck about the people made captive in their homes until the DUP have finished?!).  They have placed a blood donor ban on gay men and have blocked not one, not two, not even three but FOUR fucking attempts to bring Northern Ireland into the twenty-first century and pass a bill allowing Gay Marriage.  Everything they have done over the past three plus decades have been in active pursuit of a two tier system of equality (an oxymoron if ever there was one).  It would look as follows: Top Tier – DUP and its cronies – free to do and say whatever they want under the umbrella of “religious freedom”, Bottom Tier – Everyone else – free to do whatever the DUP don’t find objectionable.

All too often we don’t vote because we don’t feel we have something to vote for but on May 7^th I, and I hope you, will be voting because you have something to vote against.  The DUP is a vile stain on Northern Ireland’s landscape.  It’s an unwelcome, and unwanted reminder of how things used to be.  They’re fighting to keep everyone that isn’t them as second class citizens.  They have been allowed to do this for so long because the majority in Northern Ireland were lazy or disenfranchised and for my part in passively retarding change in this country by doing nothing I’m sorry.  But enough is enough, equality doesn’t exist if it is not for everyone.  Democracy is a two-way street and these nasty bastards have had it their own way for far too long.  My name has been dirtied by proxy.  They represent Northern Ireland, they (in theory) represent me and yet you don’t speak for me.  I’m a heterosexual, white, male.  I’m part of the “privileged” of society.  I’m also non-religious (dead Catholic) and intolerant towards intolerance.  If you do not speak for me, I will not vote for you.  Together as a Nation we can remove the DUP from their seat or power and reinstate a degree of humanity to Northern Ireland.  We got Jim Wells out, time for the rest of them.

Back to the Blog

I’VE MANAGED TO MAKE IT through May without blogging.  Go me.  In my defence it’s been an eventful time of late.  I got married in Las Vegas at the end of April with a homecoming reception in the middle of May –which we had to gear ourselves back up for after the relaxing post nuptual come down that was hitting the tarmac at George Best City Airport on May 2^nd.  There’s been birthdays, the obligatory reconnecting with old and lost friends (mandatory post-wedding) and of course the unenviable collapse of spirit when the holiday blues come’a’calling.  Since then I’ve been hard at work, busing myself with the perpetual re-writing, overthinking and secret doubting that comes with everyday life.

It seems that regardless of the progress I may or may not have made there’s always something else to measure myself against…and ultimately, something else to fall short in comparison with.  I’m sure this is normal but it isn’t half fucking boring.  How many times must I go around the block only to feel like I’ve fallen flat on my front teeth?

I’m no fool.  I know that the days of not having to work in order to live are probably never going to be an issue I’ll have to deal with.  Writers die broke, broken and with the all encompassing dread that they’ve failed on even the most basic of levels.  No, what I am is a trier.  Granted, an all too often secret trier but a trier nontheless.  I’ve been scribbling away at something that will hopefully provide me with the opportunity to take a few months (paid) from work and in doing so indulge the side of me that’s closested and wanting to come out.  The part of me that wants to cast aside the white collar shackles of the real job and doing something creative for a living.  Whether it comes off is for time to tell but at the moment I’ve more hope in my chest than fear which is not only a good thing but an unusual thing.

I Hate You Words

I'M HAVING something of a crisis at the moment.  I mistakenly went back to read over a few things I've been working on, a few things I haven't read since it was copied and proofed and sent out into the world.  I think on some level I knew I'd hate it and I'd been mentally protecting myself from this realisation for the sake of my ego but I caught sight of the words on the page and it all seemed so contrived.  I don't know whether it's just the way it is but I can see every forced effort, every smarty pants strain, every shortcoming which strived for something unobtainable and fell flat on it's face setting it's front teeth free.  I see people with limitless, unshakeable confidence in themselves and (warranted or not) I envy them.  I know that I've changed, I've changed in the short amount of time that's occurred since then and that the black against the dove white is fixed and what I'm experiencing is the differences I'm trying to reconcile between myself now and myself then but I can't help it.  I hate it all.

I'm going to stop writing now because I'm starting to hate this too lol but I just needed to get this out so that maybe when I'm fine with everything again and then stupidly do the same god-damn thing and end up loathing words I'll be able to look back as see how I'm stuck in some sort of shame based pseudo-working class cycle and that I'm an idiot for not learning from the last time.